Travelling around a different country always throws up surprises – none more so than Australia. Perhaps it’s because as an Anglo somewhere nestled in the subconscious you assume that things in Australia should be pretty similar.
We know about Vegemite, koalas, chiko rolls and corks on hats, but here are just a few more things that cropped up on my visit.
1] Kangaroos – A Slide Show
Arguably the world’s best known creature?
2] The Ute
Utes come in a variety of sizes and sport varying levels of machismo. Despite those above clearly coming from a bygone era, many proper utes today are Japanese – and the manufacturer tells you so. However there is a whole range of super utes which are nothing short of candidates for the movie ‘American Graffiti’; low-slung monsters with a high chromatic finish, personalised number plate and throbbing V8 6 litre engines.
Man stuff and probably only used to go to Liquormart or do minor fetching jobs from the DIY shop at weekends.
Below: Ute Utes. Ones that have a job to do.
Above: Sad man in a small car – he needed a trailer for his ‘Rambo’ stuff. This was where the ‘inbred’ incident took place.
Doughnutting is a bi-product of the manly side of owning a Ute. I didn’t see this take place but presume it’s a crepuscular activity fuelled by alcohol. Always just beyond the city limits, I couldn’t find a place that didn’t have evidence of tyre marks on the road. With a V8 6 litre engine I guess it’s tempting to try in your Dad’s car…
3] Items from the supermarket
Smokeman smoked Salami
It tastes exactly as you’d imagine it would. Excellent.
Wattle Valley Chunky Chilli with Cashew and Parmesan
This doesn’t taste how you’d imagine – it tastes better and would be a clear winner over stuff like Lo Fat Hummus and Cream Cheese & Chive dips that never quite get finished before mould discolours them. Fortunately the ingredients’ small print is so small that you can’t read it easily. Probably best.
Other stuff in this category…
Coon cheese – probably wouldn’t make it at home.
4] The Hat
Hat wearers in the UK are fewer and further between. Granted the Coles side of my family live and sleep in them; but on the whole the sight of a person in a hat is infrequent and usually invites comment. In Australia pretty much anything goes. Yobs in baseball caps are inevitable, as are ones for religious purposes, but it’s the others. The straw boaters, the floppies, the mullet-back, the Inspector Clouseau, the wide-brimmed, the Man in Havana, the Croc Dundee, the Akubra [expensive], felt, ones with corks [I’ve yet to see] and of course the Baggy Green. Readers unfamiliar with cricket parlance may not know that the Baggy Green is only worn by cricketers who are playing for the National side.
A rare shot of the Author, who as if to prove the point wore this thru the airport the other day and didn’t feel like a wally. Judge for yourself. It’s the Bunnings’ Workman’s $5 fits all number.
5] The Road Train
We don’t have them because they’re too big. No chance.
6] Bunnings
A mere DIY store. No its a big DIY store and any of its outlets are large enough to be seen from space. B&Q, Wickes, Homebase and the rest all rolled into a monster.
Aisles of stuff you can’t imagine – Eskis, Ute Trunks, Little Angels slides, hardwood/softwood, jackhammers, boards sheets and garden stuff.
7] The Drive-Thru Off-licence
It’s not the paradox its sounds – laws in other countries prohibit the sale of alcohol through outlets other than approved sellers. At home that’d see the demise of the supermarket giants and a rise in the muscle of the corner shop. It won’t happen, but believe you me, its a pain not getting everything in a single trolley.
8] Mark Nicholas
Mark Nicholas was a professional cricketer in the UK for 19 seasons after leaving school in 1976. During his school years I knew him reasonably well as our 2 names determined that alphabetical placing meant we often used to sit next to each other. Now not seen on our C4, but doing the front line presentation of English cricket overseas with Shane Warne and others on Australia’s channel 9.
Smooth and confident.
9] The 4000 calorie hit
Australians love deep fried food. Out of the cities it’s unavoidable and menus all have the same stuff in the same oil. Sorry Australia I know Britain is no different and that if you had been a French colony…
At this restaurant there were 5 choices on the menu. 4 were unashamedly deep fried, the fifth was ‘grilled’. When it was placed in front of me with the routine ‘no worries’, there was indeed a ‘worry’. It looked deep fried.
‘…yeah the chiko’s deep fried, but the cheese has been grilled!’ And there was a bit of greenery.
10] The Gum Tree or Eucalyptus
Loads of varieties – big and small and endlessly photogenic.
See separate blog post for complete ‘Gum Slideshow’
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